Twas the Night Before Christmas – the Sea Monster Version, by Max Hawthorne

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my readers, fans and followers. I hope you enjoy my “Kronos Rising version” (parody) of the popular Christmas ballad, “The Night before Christmas” by Clement Clarke Moore. If you’re a fan of prehistoric marine life and, most especially, a reader of the KR series, I promise you’ll enjoy it. Lyrics are below the video.


Max Hawthorne

The Night Before Christmas – the Kronos Rising version

By Max Hawthorne

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the sea,
The X-fish and sharks were feeding with glee.
The Krakens were nestled in their dark, chilly lair,
In the hopes that Max Hawthorne soon would be there.
The Mosasaurs drifted on their warm watery beds,
While dreams of tanned surfers waltzed through their heads,
And Tartarus’s Kronosaurs, their fins they did slap,
As they all settled down for a long evening’s nap.
When suddenly, my sonar, it started to chatter,
I rushed from my cabin to see what was the matter.
I sprang to the gunnels, my movements were sleek,
Reached for my searchlight and lit up the deep.
When, what to my astonished eyes should appear,
But a manta-shaped sub and seven creatures to fear.
The sub’s pilot smirked, then I saw him relax.
And I knew in that moment, it had to be Max.
Faster than Megalodons, his pliosaurs, they came,
And he whistled and shouted as he called them by name:
“Now Fafnir! Now Surtur! Now Romulus! Now Remus!”
“On, Goliath, On, Charybdis, Hey, no hiding, Proteus!”
“All the way to the surface and breach for the stars!
“Now dash away! dash away! dash away hard!”
Then up to my houseboat, his monsters, they swam,
The seas round us emptied, as marine life, it ran.
Then, suddenly, a series of frightening bangs
The gnashing and crashing of mouthfuls of fangs.
As I stepped fearfully back, my eyes filled with dread,
Max jumped from his sub, onto one pliosaur’s head.
He wore a red wetsuit, from his head to his feet,
And a pair of high-tech goggles that looked oh-so-neat.
A sack filled with books lay across his broad back,
And he looked like an agent as he opened his pack:
His eyes, how they glittered! His teeth were so white,
His biceps were huge, his buns oh-so-tight.
He had an angular face, but a bit of a belly
That jiggled as he moved, like strawberry jelly:
I laughed when I saw him, but then I grew quiet.
Fearful I’d end up on his beasts’ diet.
He glanced left and right, before pulling me close.
So near, I could see up his pliosaur’s nose.
He said as he gave me a package or two.
Here’s the novels you ordered, and a novella, too.
Read fast, my friend, for Tiamat’s broken free.
If not stopped, she’s the end, for both you and me.
As his sub screamed a warning, he yelled o’er the sound.
Well, I guess she and I can go one more round.
Can I help? I asked, scared the queen might be near.
He thought for a moment, then said, Sure, hold my beer!
He sprang back in his sub, then signaled his team,
They submerged from sight, like it was all a bad dream.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he sank out of view,
Merry Christmas my friend, oh, and leave a review!

PS: If you’re looking for a great read or a last minute gift for that special someone, the Kindle versions of the Kronos Rising series are inexpensive and delivered instantly. Check them out on Amazon!

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