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MONTY PYTHON? NEVER HEARD OF HER!
Had a plumber over yesterday, working on a pipe in the basement. When he got down there, he saw my daughter’s huge rabbit wandering around in its corral. His eyes popped and he started asking questions . . .
Plumber: “Whoa. Why is that rabbit so big?”
Me: “Flemish giant. They get pretty large. Plus, she eats meat.”
Plumber: “Meat? Is that normal?”
Me: “Hmm . . . not really.”
Plumber (as Blossom notices him): “Is she dangerous?”
Me: “Um . . . not really. But don’t go sticking your hand in there.”
Plumber (now nervous): I won’t! She can’t get out, right?”
Me: “I don’t think so. The fence is pretty high.”
As the plumber started up his ladder I prepared to leave.
Me: “Well, I’m gonna head upstairs and watch TV. You gonna be okay?”
Plumber (glances nervously down at the rabbit, which is now watching him intently): “Yeah, sure . . . I’ll, uh . . . I’ll be fine.”
Me: “Cool. If you need anything, just let me know.”
I headed toward the door, then glanced back, trying not to smirk as I saw Blossom sitting on the opposite side of her fence and sniffing in the guy’s direction (probably hoping for a carrot or piece of sweet potato). Then I added, “Oh, and try not to stare. She’ll take it as a sign of aggression.”
I closed the door and went upstairs, fighting to keep from laughing. Let me tell you, that poor bastard was done in record time. Which was great, because I was paying him by the hour!
Max Hawthorne, author